Is Kalki Koechlin the voice of todays
woman? Dear, oh Dear
Kalki Koechlin? Things have gotten so
bad in our society that we have to get someone like Kalki Koechlin to rant
about issues that women face in our so called patriarchal society???? Seriously,
is this supposed to be the voice of ‘today’s’ woman’??? You women must be
really desperate!!! Ignorant, nonsensical, and laughable are three words that
come to my mind after reading her ‘rant’.
So, I’m going to humour myself now. Let
me start from the beginning. She’s went on and on about how God created Man,
and everything after that was named Mankind, WoMan etc etc. Well Miss (or is
she still Mrs Kashyap), you really should’ve done your homework. We, and I mean
all things created on this planet are a result of a supernova explosion
including the gold, silver, platinum and diamonds (aah, well, all of you so
identify with these metals and stones don’t you???). I guess you woudn’t know
much about that now would you. Obviously not, coz you’re so caught up about
your ‘rant’. Well, hope this educates you a wee bit.
Next, you say ‘they’ married off
Draupadi to 5 pandavas! THEY??? Errrrr, well, there was no ‘they’. It was their
MOTHER, Kunti, who said ‘whatever you have brought home, share it amongst all
of you. Heard that? It was a woman’s stupid comment that led to Draupadi having
5 husbands. You think it’s no fun, hell no, of course it isn’t. We men don’t like
sharing our women, never mind what you see on Porn. We don’t like our sizes being
compared, period. So there you are. I wonder what sadistic pleasure Kunti
derived by not taking back her words(which she could have so easily done.
HAHAHA…man, that woman must have some imagination to continue letting her five
children ‘enjoy’ one woman. Come on
Kalki, you can do better than that. At least while you’re here in India, do get
your mythological references right. Or maybe you can’t, coz your rant is as
superficial as your Bollywood performances.
You’re talking about Aphrodite, Cleopatra,
Persephone, and a host of other women in Politics. I roll my eyes. My My! Did
you just do a google search and prepare this laundry list? Hmm…well Ill ignore
those ‘rants’ but I can’t help rubbing my hands in glee when you talk about
queens and goddesses never being rescued or no prince or king going down on one
knee. This is such a laugh-riot. Mind you, your speech has been called
emotional and inspirational. And I’m sure you must have got a standing ovation for
this speech. Ill come to fairy tales later. This much ignorance is seriously
hilarious.
History and Mythology is plagued with
the indecisiveness of women leading to terrible wars. Sure, now you’ll say that
it’s because of Man insatiable ego that these wars happened. Let me give you a
few instances.
I’ll start with the Ramayan:
Who filled Queen Kaikeyi’s mind with
poison against Ram taking over the throne? Pootna ( A WOMAN MAID)
Who was responsible for Ram being
banished to the forest? Kaikeyi. And the poor guy went without questioning
anyone’s motives. That’s devotion.
Who incited Ravan to capture Sita as
revenge? Shoopanakha (by now, you’ve guessed. A woman)
And you’ve got the gall to say no one
came to rescue you????? For christs sake, Hanuman came to Ashok Vatika to free
Sita. Sita insisted that Ram come and save her. Wow!!! She wanted war and she
got it. Poor Ravan!. He got killed for nothing. He never even touched her.
Indeed, the Ramayan does go on to say
that Ram got her to do an agni pariksha to prove her ‘purity’ which of course
was a stupid thing to do and she was spot on by walking out on him after that.
But tell me something, when your brother-in-law makes a lakshman rekha and
strictly instructs you NOT to cross it, why the hell can’t you women listen? And
then you have the audacity to tell us that we don’t rescue you when we traverse
across pretty much the entire subcontinent ????
What about Helen? Everybody knows what
caused the Iliad? Even worse, poor Hector lost his life and his wife (in that
order) fighting for an indecisive woman. she eventually went back to Menelaus (that’s
the real version, don’t go by the movie Troy). I mean, you women are so
indecisive and when we men make our decisions, you crib about it? Hello???
Coming back to the Mahabharat, Draupadi
got so furious with a comment made by Karna when he said that only a prostitute
could be with 5 men at a time. He’s right. You can’t have five ‘husbands’ and
expect to be respected. Take a walk, lady. That aint happening with us men. And
you know what? It’s a lot worse with Women.
Now for the Fairy Tales. Sigh. You
really should not have ventured into this territory. Shall we take the example
of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves? Who was Snow White’s enemy? Her very own step
mother. Who were the kind souls who offered her shelter? The Dwarves. Who poisoned her? Her step-mother. WTF, you
women are your worst enemies and you blame us men for your problems?
How about Cinderalla? Who makes life
miserable for her? Hepsiba and Grizella. Who searches the entire town for her
other missing shoe? The Prince. And you say that no prince went down on his
knees to propose to you women? Ever heard of the love story of Robin Hood and
Maid Mariam? I know you haven’t. It doesn’t surprise me.
Let’s move towards our modern days. When
we see the ridiculous Tele serials that dominate most of our hindi channels
Colors, Star Plus, Sony, what do we see? The conniving aunt, the manipulative servant,
the promiscuous younger sister- Who
makes all these characters? Ekta Kapoor. Yup, she’s a woman. In the name of Money, these serials are made.
Guess who watches them? That’s right, women!!!!!
The other problem with you women is
that you have a special talent for the bad men. Yup ,that’s right. The more
successful and beautiful you are, the worse you like being treated. You date jerks and wimps and wuses and then
when they behave like jerks, wimps and wuses you get your mascara smudged and
not to mention the occasional black eye. You then seek refuge with a kind and
loving good man to get back your lost confidence and voila, what do you do
next? Either get back with the jerk or find another bigger jerk. Oh please,
please, stop the whimpering! You asked for it.
When it comes to Indian marriages, I unequivocally
say that most marriages break-up because of the MOTHER-IN-LAW. And by now, Kalki, with IQ levels being lower than the
room’s temperature, please guess that she is a woman. Eureka! Well done. MILs
can’t handle their son ‘dividing’ their attention. And women say that men have
big egos. Yeah right!
I could go on and on and on but Im
gonna stop here coz I’d rather laugh my ass off at the ignorance and stupidity
of women like Kalki than take them seriously. And that’s because, a patriarchal
society isn’t the ONLY bane of women. Women are women’s worst enemies. In one of my previous articles, I had written
about how we men have let down our female counterparts collectively as a
species. Yes we have. I still
whole-heartedly admit that men are extremely flawed and have a lot of making up
to do when it comes to our image and reputation with women. We need to correct
ourselves and our belief system in Rural as well as Urban regions. We need to
treat women with respect. We need to stop female foeticide. We need to educate
women. We need to free women. We need to be loyal to our women. We need to stop
abusing (physically and mentally) women. We need to control our egos. We
absolutely have to let women make their own choices. And in all probability, we
men will do it for ourselves and not for you. Because as a sub-species, you are
the more indecisive one. We are not.
We are ready to walk that extra mile
for you. To do what it takes to win your love and respect. To relinquish a lot
of what we want to make you happy (aah I sound like such a martyr). To let you
lead the kind of life that you wish to lead and be there if and when you need
us (believe me, you do). But if Kalki Koechlin is what we are going to end up
with, then we just don’t think it’s worth it.
